Dear soulful humans (so all of you),
If there’s one thing you’ve learned while traveling by my side on this blogging adventure, it’s that I am terrible at asking for help. It rarely ever works in my favor, I usually end up regretting it or making a fool of myself, and it’s just altogether the last thing I ever want to do. There’s also the part of me that’s a stubborn baby ram that likes to try my hardest to do everything on my own until it literally feels like I’m smashing my head into a wall. This past year though, it has come to my attention that at this point, I have no choice in the matter. As the last bit of pride I have leaves me and flies far, far away, I have to admit that I am in desperate need of help. I am disabled without disability benefits, orphaned (in an odd way but still family-less aside from my sister), working a job that pays me hardly anything, and newly single.
So, I’m selling my soul. Literally!
Okay, well not literally, that would be weird. However I am selling most of my stuff and trying to find any way I can to make a little bit of money so that I can continue to pay for my continued existence. I also need money to pay for my doctor appointments that I now am able to have after waiting three months to get into a low income program, I need to eventually find a new place to live, need to chip away at my pile of medical debt from all my Emergency visits and ambulance rides, and with any luck, I’ll be able to afford a pair of glasses because I lost my old ones, and since I have astigmatism, I am now in a constant visual haze (which makes the whole working and blogging thing even more difficult!)
My dear friends and readers (who in retrospect really are my friends as well) I am imploring you to share this post so that people can see it and hopefully purchase my things. So far I am selling most of my jewelry and my books. I honestly don’t have much to begin with since moving from California, but anything that I don’t absolutely need I am putting up for sale. It stings a little, but survival is more important than my belongings at the moment.
You can see my JEWELRY for sale by clicking here, and see my BOOKS for sale by clicking here.
Any amount of help, big or small, I am thankful for. I am looking for a better job, but with 15 medical diagnoses, chronic illness, chronic pain, and very little energy due to having to battle all that, finding a job that won’t kill me but will pay well is quite the battle.
As I said before, I’ve definitely hit rock bottom. My life has really beat me into the ground, and believe me, telling you it hurts is an understatement. But I’m still trying to survive, and I am hoping with all my heart that one day soon I won’t be just surviving, but actually living and thriving. That is my biggest hope for myself as well as the millions of others just like me.
From the bottom of my heart and the deepest part of my soul, thank you for reading, listening and being with me through this strange game called life.
Sometimes, I wish I was brave,
I wish I was stronger, wish I could feel no pain.
Wish I was young, wish I was shy,
I wish I was honest, I wish I was you not I.
Cause’ I feel so mad, I feel so angry.
Feel so callused, So lost confused, again.
Feel so cheap, so used, unfaithful,
Lets start over,
Lets start over,