Eleanore Vs. WordPress and YOU! (and Me)

Dearest readers and fellow bloggers and fellow humans,

Hey, Hi, Hello. How are you?

This is simply a post to just say a few things that are on my mind. I have several full posts cultivating in my brain that you will hopefully be able to read soon, but for now, I wish to give you this.

First and most importantly, I feel a tremendous need to express my gratitude, and I mean it with all the sincerity within me. I have just over 70 followers now, and while in the internet world that is a very small number, to me, it is enormous. Like, seriously monumental. The fact that 70 people follow my blog and are not only interested in my life but also enjoy my writing is astounding, intimidating, and frankly, slightly confusing as I tend to not think much of myself considering my self esteem has been beaten out of me over the years. But truly, I cannot thank you all enough. Thank you (times a billion).

I have said this before and I’ll say it again; I know I am bad at the whole social part of blogging, but I am really trying my best to to slowly yet surely make my way out from under my blanket of fear, self deprecation, and anxiety to reach out to others. It has only been a month since I’ve seriously been acting upon this, but within that month I have discovered and spoken with some truly incredible people.

The people I have come into contact with on this site are amazing, though I’m not sure that’s a good enough word. Each of us are the protagonists of our own adventures, fighting our villains, some of which we share such as chronic illness. I am honored and elated to connect with people such as yourselves. I think you’re all  fabulous and important.

Even on your very lowest days, if it helps at all, just think to yourself, “It’s going to be okay, because Eleanore from the internet thinks I’m awesome.”

Furthermore, if you get on WordPress at any given time and find you have a bazillion new likes and comments from SicklyStardust, It’s because I have found that I am able to focus best when I loosely organize my time. Every morning I go into my Habitica App (if you have not heard of this and are a person who likes to make lists, click here to check it out. I used to make my lists on my whiteboard but this is SO much better!) and I make a To Do list of everything that needs to get done that day. This helps me to be more productive and organized. It also helps me to control my anxiety, since usually every morning I wake up feeling so overwhelmed by my life that I end up petrified like I just got attacked by a Basilisk.

At least once a week I take a few hours to go through WordPress, find new people to follow, respond to other’s posts, and so on. It seems to be the only way I can be assured that I won’t let that part of this slip away from me, as I often feel it does. So far, it’s been going quite wonderfully and I truly enjoy the time I set aside to adventure through this site. With time I am hoping it will become more natural for me to balance writing and communicating, but for now, it goes on the list!

Lastly, about my videos. I have stopped making YouTube videos for the time being, but this hiatus I am hoping will be temporary. I partly stopped because the last few months my physical and mental pain have been worse than usual, but there have also been new developments in my life regarding my health and that now takes even more of my time than it already does. I’m not ready to share what’s going on with that yet, but I will soon, once I am both ready and understand it all a bit better myself.

So there you have it, my love, my updates and thoughts from that strange machine that sits in my skull. As one of my childhood heroes says, TTFN- Tiny Tulips Fight Nastily. Wait. Tentacled Tortoises Find Necromancer?

Ta Ta For Now. 

(And thank you).

The warmth of your love’s like the warmth of the sun,
And this will be our year, took a long time to come.
Don’t let go of my hand, now darkness is gone,
And this will be our year, took a long time to come.

And I Won’t forget the way you helped me up when I was down.
And I won’t forget the way you said, “Darlin’ I love ya”
You gave me faith to go on – now we’re there, and we only just begun.
This will be our year, took a long time to come.

~This Will Be Our Year – Ok Go







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