Ellie Vs. A Big Little Accident

Hello lovely humans and other creatures that enjoy blogging,

I have approximately five billion things to write about, none of which are related, but instead of just word vomiting like I so often do, I’ll try to keep it all organized in several different posts…emphasis on try. I have a feeling Douglas Adams told himself something similar when he started writing The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. If so, I might be in trouble, especially since I haven’t slept much. But let’s see what happens… I hope you have your towel handy.

First on the list: yesterday.

Yesterday started out decently. I woke up early enough to be productive, but not early enough to make me want to crawl out of my skin, went to the chiropractor whose office is near the beach, went to the beach to eat my lunch, then took the pretty drive down one mountain and up another to get to work. Work was easy, I got things done quickly, and then I started the always somewhat dreadful drive home in a fuck ton of traffic.

I am not a fan of traffic for several reasons, but mainly three; being in a car for extended periods of time make my back hurt more than it already does, I get bored and antsy, and people in big cities, like the one I was born and raised in, are very talented at bad driving. I don’t like dealing with any of these things. In fact, I hate traffic on the freeways so much that I will take side streets every chance I get, even if it takes double the time. I didn’t get that chance, though, so I reluctantly joined the clusterfuck and turned my music up to cope with the fact that traffic is just the friggin worst.

At one point, the traffic finally let up. Freedom! Well, for a second. The traffic quickly came to a halt once more, and so did I. I sat there, wiggling about in the driver’s seat to some good ol’ Franz Ferdinand, and took a sip out of a water bottle that is bigger than my face, when suddenly,

BAM! BAM! BAM! SHUGGASHUGGASHUGGASHUGGA (That’s how it sounds in my head. Don’t judge me).

I fuck you not, this all actually happened in slow motion. I am completely convinced that the universe accidentally hit the slow motion button on its remote, and slowed everything down. I pulled over onto the shoulder, and got out of my car, shaking and panicked like a wet puppy because that’s how I react when frightened, not to mention I actually was wet due to the water bottle flying all over my car. I looked around and saw that five other cars pulled over as well. Well look at that…my first pile up..hopefully the last.

The man who hit me was a total sweetheart…I was standing there all wet puppy like on the shoulder of the freeway, and he asked me if I was okay and told me to breathe. I asked him if he was hit by someone else, and when he said yes, I looked back and saw that the car behind his was totaled. I finally remembered to breathe, and when I did my head replied with a big loud, “NO!” and started to throb and ache terribly. So…what exactly happened when the universe sat on its remote? From what I understand, because the traffic came to a stop so suddenly, the first man couldn’t stop in time, so he crashed into the car behind me, I crashed into the woman in front of me, she crashed into the man in front of her. When I was hit, I hit my head on the side of my car, then on my headrest.

I was dreading having to look at my car. The impact felt so violent I was sure the car was going to be smashed front and back. To my relief, my car was pretty scratched and my license plate bent, but aside from that, no real major damage. In my last car, which was a PT Cruiser (awful cars in general, don’t ever get one), I had two minor accidents, one being my fault and one not, but in both, the impacts were just as hard and my car had major damage. My new little Civic, however, took the beating like a Champ. You go, Olive (I named my car Olive for one of my favorite characters on a show, Fringe, and also because she’s green and I kind of suck at naming things).

So finally after the initial bullshit that happens during accidents, the cops actually shut down the freeway so that all cars involved could get off at the same time and reconvene in a safer area. We all talked about what happened to the cops, and the others involved in the accident were actually super nice. Coincidentally, we were all driving Civics, minus the man who hit me, who was driving an Accord, which is basically a chubby Civic. None of us had too much damage, and the man who hit us, despite having his car totaled, was as far as I could tell entirely unharmed. Thankfully, this was all actually quite minor even though the impact felt awfully strong. As things wound down, my headache did not, and my back was hurting more than usual. Next stop, the ER!

I went to the ER and realized that after the adrenaline was done flying through my veins, I felt kind of awful. My head hurt, my neck hurt, my back hurt, on top of all the pain I normally feel, and I was slightly confused. The doctors checked me out, and after waiting around for what seemed like a million years, they decided that since I only hit the headrest and the side, I at worst had a mild concussion. Treatment? No work or driving for two days, lots of ice, and lots of Ibuprofen. My neck and back were a different story though. Since those parts of me are already in constant pain, getting any type of hit or jolt isn’t exactly the best thing for me. I had JUST gone to the chiropractor, and I had felt so good, and now because of the accident I felt back to my normal awfulness plus some extra. Now not only would I have to pay $100 for the ER visit, but after already paying to see the chiropractor I would have to pay again to get myself all fixed up again. The whole situation basically made me feel like,

download

Old, but accurate. 

I was really trying not to complain too much when I was at the scene of the crash..I didn’t want to be that person that makes a big deal out of something small, you know? But, at the same time, I am not particularly well made and have a lot of wonky parts, so the impact probably did me in a little more than it should have, and that’s not exactly surprising. The girl I hit did say her neck and head were hurting too though, so I guess I’m not the only one. Overall, I am just glad everyone is okay and safe, if not a little banged up like our Civics are. This truly could have been much worse and we all could have been badly injured, especially the man that hit us first, but he is alright as well.

My head, neck and back are still killing me, but my back is exceptionally painful. The lower part of my back has a burning sensation and throbbing. I really hope there’s nothing wrong with me more than soreness, but I won’t find out until next week when I go back to the doctor. I’m about 90% sure I am okay, but since I was apparently put together with marshmallows and double-stick tape, I am hurting. Believe me when I say I’m definitely not looking to sue anyone or make a big stink about it…I have enough complicated things in my life as it is. I just would like to not have more health problems on top of the dozen I’ve already got going for me.

Well, today is all about bed rest and Netflix. The good news is, my boyfriend may have found us a new home. I wanted to work on the logistics last night, but he absolutely refused to because I needed rest. He knows I’m a stubborn little asshole sometimes, and that resting is usually the last thing on my mind, but even after I tried my best to convince him, his reply was, “You are my main concern. We have a back up to look into for a still very nice apartment if we need it. What I don’t have is a backup girlfriend.”  I was a little annoyed that I couldn’t get things done right away like I usually like doing. But mostly, I was warmed by his sweetness, and reminded by the fact that since I’ve known him, in most situations he does always put me first. I’m definitely not used to that since most people have never, ever treated me that way. So far, though, I’m kind of loving the feeling of someone making me important rather than putting me down like I am used to.

So, what does a minor 5 car pile up, moderate injuries, an awesome boyfriend, and sleep deprivation all add up to? Well it’s obvious, isn’t it? The answer of course, is 42.

And a whole lot of gratefulness.

So we stole and drank Champagne,
On the seventh seal you said you never feel pain,
“I never feel pain, won’t you hit me again?”
“I need a bit of black and blue to be a rotation”

In my blood I feel the bubbles burst,
There was a flash of fist, an eyebrow burst.
You’ve a lazy laugh and a red white shirt,
I fell to the floor fainting at the sight of blood!

-The Fallen, Franz Ferdinand 

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